Clover - Jonathan

So I was sorting through my likes on Clover, deleting those who I wasn't interested in, and I ended up with a few matches before I received a message from Jonathan. The only part I see in my notification is "So you're super cute. I am" and that's the end of it. I figure he's doing the right thing by giving a compliment first before starting a conversation but I was wrong.

OkCupid - Voo

What do you tell a guy that you literally matched with less than 24 hours ago when he asks to meet up? I mean, normally I think there needs to be a bit more conversation right? Especially when you consider the fact that it isn't as if we've been messaging on the app nonstop. We both actually work and have lives, which is probably surprising to some of the people who seem to be living on the app. Let's break this down a bit.

OkCupid - Joey

Profile pictures in general are difficult to choose. I get that. You want all your friends to see the super cool thing you are doing and you want to look cool doing it. That makes picking out a few pictures to display on a dating app harder because you want people to see you while getting to know a bit about you without having them judge you entirely on your looks. That's cool. I get that.So please allow me some time when I first start the app greasy Joey.

OkCupid - Poly Couple

Look, I'm not the type of person to try and tell someone how to live their life really unless it's a close friend who I care about that is about to do something stupid or dangerous. So when it comes to relationships I can't really say much about those who are interesting in one that involves more than one person, mostly because it just doesn't make sense to me. You can say I don't know because I've never tried it but honestly, I'm not planning to try ever. I can barely handle one on one interactions with a person who I really like so I can't imagine trying to add in another person into the mix. That'd just be awkward in my opinion. So what do I do when a poly couple messages me?

OkCupid - Hyena

Is it hard to start a conversation? I mean, beyond the "Hey, what's up? How are you?" sort of thing? If you look at a person's profile you could easily check and read what they're interested in and BAM! You'll have something to ask or talk about. It won't hurt to read I promise. However I suppose some people just want to send what they consider interesting conversation starters. If only I had the emojis on here so you all could see.

Bumble - Johnny

Bumble let's you post multiple pictures in order to give people a sense of who you are and what you look like. You know there are the suggestions of don't use a mirror selfie, make sure it's not a big group pictures, and so on but apparently some people like to post pictures of who they really are.

Listen Johnny, I really didn't need to swipe through and see all your dick pics. Honestly. The angle doesn't change a thing. If I actually did want to look at dick pics one day there is this glorious thing called google images. So no thank you, that's a hard pass on that one. Also, you're letting everyone know that you're basically a dick. I suppose I could thank you on behalf of others for the warning but I am still a bit scarred by the images I had to see.

At least I'm now warning anyone in Vegas to be careful of a Johnny with a sketchy looking first picture.

OkCupid

I've literally had my OkCupid for less than 24 hours and have 215 likes, 138 visits to my profile, and 18 messages sent to me. Now, the deal with OkCupid is you have to pay if you want to see who has liked you and you can only see the five most recent people who visit to your profile, which is not something I plan to do. All communication is free though so anyone who sees my profile can send me a message. Needless to say with so many likes and visits in less than 24 hours I feel pretty popular. I literally only put up six pictures, a short description blurb saying I love to travel and run, and then listed some movies, music, and tv shows I watch. It's not a lot really.

Anyways, let's get into the messages thus far shall we?

Intro

So Hannah is very worried about my dating life and suggests different apps for me to try while here in Vegas. I've done Clover, Bumble, Tinder, Coffee Meets Bagel, and now I'm trying OkCupid. The problem with being in Vegas is that most every guy is a club promoter and heaven forbid I don't actually care to go out every night just to help them meet their quota for referrals. So, expect short blurbs about what happens to me with these fun apps. (: Enjoy Hannah. And if this becomes a movie you get a percentage of the earnings.