Coffee Meets Bagel - My Therapist Said

Don't ask me why but I opened the dating apps again! Ok, I should clarify. I opened ONE dating app again and it's Coffee Meets Bagel. I did this around Valentine's Day just out of curiosity to see who was on the apps and now I've been swiping and seeing what happens because there were a ton of matches and possibilities. I know there were a ton of people online because of Valentine's Day and I guess everyone was so worried about being single or alone but not me! I was just curious since I got an email saying they usually saw a big spike around that time and thought why not? So I matched with a guy who we will call Bailey and it didn't really go well from there. 

Tinder - Red Flag Beard

I think I've been talking about red flags a lot on Twitter thanks to 90 Day Fiancé and now the new season of Love is Blind. I mean, some people just have so many that I can't even imagine why someone would agree to even meet them, let alone date them. It's just too much for me. I know how to run when I see a red flag. There's no fixing it. Today we have a profile where Alex tells us all about his own red flags.

Coffee Meets Bagel - Kinks and Cuddles

It's been a while since I swiped along Coffee Meets Bagel but when I did finally decide to open up the app I was a bit surprised by what I found. I'm use to some pretty tame profiles, especially because you don't get endless swiping. You only get a few profiles to look at every 24 hours. When I came cross Mitch though I was quite surprised by his selection for his photo. First impressions matter, but now I just want to scrub my eyes and my brain. Let me show you what I'm talking about, but you've been warned.

Fuck Marry Kill

Wow. It's been a minute since my last post. I would apologize, but 🤷 life. I think that's a good enough excuse. Plus I haven't been swiping on the apps as much just because it's been too tedious and I have been busy with work so no time to entertain trying to plan dates or replying to stupid messages. You know the ones I'm talking about. Maybe I'll start swiping more now that I have a bestie who is also currently swiping and it's fun to have someone to talk about these crazy profiles with. Anyway, let's get on to today's post. I was hanging out with a friend and met a friend of hers. We spoke for maybe ten minutes before I left. A week later she informed me that he wanted to ask me out. Shocking, I know. Let's get to it.

Tinder - Captive in a Hole

Sometimes on the dating apps, I'm amazed by the profiles that one can come across. I feel this entire blog is filled with plenty of profiles that really make me go, "Wow, this is what I have to choose from?" If anything it helps to solidify that being single isn't that bad. For some reason I feel like I've seen them all, but then of course someone comes along that has a profile that really makes you pause and think. 

IG - Domt tell

Well it's been a minute, hasn't it? Things have been a little busy for me because I've gone back to school in a sense to get certified so I can get a pay raise but enough about me. You never know who you're going to have message you on social media. I guess I just tend to ignore and know that a DM from someone I don't follow isn't worth my time. That of course doesn't prevent them from happening but I can at least filter through them for what's a requested message. Anyway, the following DM will show you just how stupid some people are.  

Argentine Loverboy Part 2

Did you think we were done with my loverboy? I mean, I know I did. I haven't seen the guy in person for 3 years now? Or is it more than that? Sorry everyone, but time isn't real during COVID. If you forgot about the Argentina Hunger Games you can play catch up by reading about it here or if you just want the recap for the last messages from George in 2020 you can read them here. Anyway, this saga continues because of George and his persistence. I just can't win with him, you know? Let's get to it.

Coffee Meets Bagel - Lost Jesus

You know how some people just don't seem to be on the right kind of dating app? I mean, some people aren't looking for something long term or serious and yet they're on an app that is all about that. Or vice versa if you will. I feel like they're just wasting people's time by being on the app that isn't going to cater to what they're after. There's literally a dating app all about dating farmers so surely there are plenty more for each of those specifics that people are looking into. Today's guy probably should just try Christian Mingle but let's get into it.

Coffee Meets Bagel - Emotional Baggage

Well today we have a profile that clearly serves to confuse me. Maybe some of you will understand it but I just don't get it. Do guys just think their ab pictures will overshadow everything else that is listed in their profile? If that was the case why do they even bother writing in anything to fill out their profile? Or maybe they're just testing the potential matches to see what will and won't get them attention. Anyway, let's get to the profile.

Tinder - They/Them Confusion

I saw a conversation that I just had to share with you all. It made me laugh a little too hard. Probably because the messages I've been getting on the dating apps myself have been so dull and lackluster. I should just say that the conversations aren't actually happening as the guys just immediately try to make things sexual or just don't reply. Fun times are always to be had with online dating. Anyway, let me share this funny with you and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Bumble - "Lockdown" Crap

When people ask me whether or not Covid has been good or bad for online dating I reply that it's been a double edged sword. It's been hard to meet up with some people depending on their own comfort level as well as mine (like before the vaccine) but it's also been very insightful to learn how some people are treating this pandemic. I mean, I know plenty of couples who have broken up because of their differing opinions and response to Covid so I suppose I'm just glad I haven't had to deal with that sort of thing. Anyway, let's get on to today's fun profile. 

"Wrecking" Anything

Today, I just have something that continues to prove that men are trash. "Not all men!" you may be screaming at me but you should know what I mean. Just enough that it's getting old and I'm sick and tired of it. This guy sent me a message and thought that he really was being something. Like, he was being honest from the start so that meant I should be open and receptive to what he was offering. Little did he know I don't play that game. Let's get to his shitty message, shall we?

Tinder - Ray Romano

I thought I'd have a fun date story to tell you all about but instead the guy just disappeared and let the chat expire. I guess he wasn't as cool as he thought he was. I mean, he did have his location set to Las Vegas when he was actually out in California. Either way I still have a funny profile to share with you all, which definitely seems like a threat but it did make me laugh. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did.

Coffee Meets Bagel - Escalator Fears

I can't tell you why but I've been swiping on Coffee Meets Bagel the most lately. It's probably because a lot more people put in their profile whether or not they're vaccinated and that's a bit more important to me as of late. Covid is getting a bit insane and I haven't had it yet (knock on wood) so I plan to still not get it if I can avoid that. Either way today I came across a profile that just... made me pause because I'm not sure if the guy is kidding or being completely serious.

Coffee Meets Bagel - Bitmoji Pic

I would apologize for the delay in a new post but this terrible thing called life happened. No regrets though because even I deserve some down time and no expectations every once in a while. Today I have yet another profile for you and I honestly thought we were past the point of dealing with weird photos. Maybe weird isn't the right word, considering we've all seen plenty of them together. But today's guy, just doesn't get it? I don't know how else to describe it so let's get to the fun part.

Coffee Meets Bagel - Hieroglyphics

I've found myself swiping a bit more as of late and I'm not entirely sure if it's just out of boredom or curiosity. Nevada has opened up recently so more people are traveling, going out, and just doing things in general. Now I can't say whether or not that's a good thing due to Covid cases in the state going up but I can't force people to get vaccinated or wear a mask so there's nothing I can do. I've done my part and gotten vaccinated and I wear a mask in public but such is life. Either way while swiping I came across this profile and I really just gave me some questions to ponder and I figured you all would enjoy it as well!

The League - A Date?

For those of you who may not remember, The League has a feature called League Live. What is it exactly? Well you sign up to save your spot and if you're a paying user then you are automatically in. Every Sunday and Wednesday night you have to open the app at 9:00pm for the chance to talk to someone else over a video call, much like FaceTime. You only have a few minutes and get matched with three different people. You can then go on from there to match and chat with them more or swipe left and say you aren't interested. I did this long ago back in February and wrote about it here, which seems fake but time isn't real during Covid honestly. Today's post is all about one of the guys I ended up chatting with!

Coffee Meets Bagel - Terrified of Puking

Guess who is swiping on Coffee Meets Bagel again? It's me! Why? Well I figure I might as well be swiping on one of the dating apps that I can see some people who have liked me first instead of wasting all my time swiping on guys who are far shorter than me. Sorry to all the guys who are 5'2" and 5'3" but you're wasting both of our time and I don't appreciate it. I came across a profile that I thought would give you all a laugh as it did me, so let's get to it.

Coffee Meets Bagel - Can I Have Sex?

I have been texting and Facetiming a guy for a little while now but it seems our work schedules don't want us to get together face to face. Such is life at the moment but anyway I thought I'd share a conversation with you that truly just made me face palm. 🤦‍♀️ It seems that there are still plenty of guys who don't know what sort of first message to send but thankfully the response makes it well worth it! 

Tinder - Valentine's Fun

 I saw this profile from Tinder that someone shared and I just couldn't help but laugh at it. I mean, the fact that the message was sent on Valentine's Day is truly just the icing on the cake. I've never really tested swiping on Valentine's Day, or any holiday for that matter because I can't imagine it going well. Guess this just goes to show on what I'm missing out on.