OkCupid - Lick Every Hole

If you haven't noticed there hasn't been a new blog post as of late. I've been out of the country and I didn't really have a chance to use any of the dating apps. Not that it would have worked in my favor considering I was in Peru. Talk about a long distance relationship. Today's post is brought to you by the lovely Kelly. It seems that romance might not truly be dead since we have a guy today who is willing to be blunt in his first message! Now as to whether or not that actually will work we will have to find out.

We can easily say that Mike seems to think that telling things like they are is a good thing. I can't quite argue with that. I would rather have someone be up front and honest with me from the get go. However, there comes a point in time that some things are better left unsaid until later. I don't just run up to random men I find attractive saying I want to be their girlfriend immediately. Some may argue that might actually work but I find it to be something that would not go over too well. Then again saying you want to be someone's significant other isn't quite as disturbing as wanting to lick every hole a person has.

I don't understand why Mike wants to lick every hole poor Kelly has. What did her ears and nose do to deserve such treatment? We all know that he is talking about a very different hole, although if you don't know what I mean then stop reading this post now and save yourself. It's better to stay innocent while you can. Does Mike honestly think that this is attractive? Is this first message going to somehow immediately get him a girl who actually wants him to come over and lick every hole that they have?

I really just don't get it. Mike could have easily made simple conversation of asking how Kelly was or what she enjoyed about her job. Then questioned if she was in to hooking up and then presented his idea of licking holes. Instead he just goes straight for it. Kelly didn't even have time to prepare herself to be blindsided by this strange message. Then again with the dating apps you can never truly prepare yourself for the strange barrage of messages that you're going to get.

Now I must ask whether any of you are actually interested in this as a first message? Would this get you to respond? Would you like the first message from a complete stranger to be this? If so, what do you like about it? Or are you as turned off by it as I am? Let me know what you think in the comments below. (: