We’re going to call this guy Alan, because why not? I’m laughing at the fact that Alan just comes across as arrogant while saying he knows exactly what he’s looking for and that Jaylynn is it. On top of that he knows that she's looking for him as well. Now, I don’t know about you but the last time I did some swiping on Tinder most all of the profiles had barely a sentence in them so how did he know that Jaylynn was exactly what he was looking for? The fact that she’s into literature and might possibly write her own stuff doesn’t exactly scream, “JUST MY TYPE!” but hey, what do I know? If I’m being honest I don’t think Alan comes across as thirsty but he also doesn’t seem to be keeping it 100, as he claims. I feel like he should have just kept it simple by starting off asking what her favorite books are and if she wrote stories or poetry. That would have come off as less strange and likely earned him a response.
No response means that Alan starts to lose it because how could the person who he knows is looking for him not respond? Isn’t that just so out of character? So much for Alan knowing so much. Anyway, he says to forget everything he previously said and then goes on to ask how Jaylynn’s doing. Even if he had sent this it would be a bit of a boring starter but whatever. Then, two hours later he claims that he didn’t even like her in the first place because he was tripping. I really can’t believe that Alan spiraled so much after starting so strong knowing that she was perfect for him and he was perfect for her. I really don’t understand guys like this because I know I’m not always on the apps swiping and sometimes I’m not in the mood to chat so I don’t say anything. Calm down.
For not even caring about getting a message back he suddenly has to reply and claim that he still does, in fact, not care abut getting a message. However Alan starts to ask or some pointers for next time. Honestly he doesn’t even deserve a response on how to improve. I would rather see him try to continue his methods to test what results he gets. Like, how would coming on stronger help in this scenario? I have to give kudos for Jaylynn responding in gifs because she uses perfect ones in response. The fact that Alan thinks he can “allow” her to respond in more than one gif is ridiculous. He clearly can’t put two and two together to realize that she isn’t interested and he’s just digging himself into a deeper hole that he’ll never get out of. The reference to Trump is a bit out there though because why? Has Alan met Trump? Are they not friends? Does Trump send Alan a few gifs and actual sentences in his messages? Now I need to know more!
Call him out Jaylynn! He should know the proper you’re to use in a sentence. It’s basic grammar. Not too hard. Here we go, still have a conversation going on even though Alan claimed he didn’t care for a response because you know, he was tripping before. Why is he trying to act like because he is a minority that is why Jaylynn is standoffish? That has nothing to do with anything. It’s clearly because of his messages and how he presents himself. First impressions truly matter, especially in a conversation and when trying to date. For claiming to know her so well because they’re looking for each other in his mind he sure doesn’t know a lot. He’s a terrible mind reader.
I seriously want to say, “don’t just me!” because Alan once again can’t spell. How is he going to try to lecture claiming that he won’t just use her for her looks because he’s not a typical latin guy? Is it just trying to throw all of his friends under the bus or something? It sounds like he has had his heart broken by a minority. Alan is just digging himself an even deeper hole that he’ll never be able to climb out of by saying he’ll be used by Jaylynn to impress her liberal friends as a trophy to show she “caught a Spanish dude”. Honestly who says that? That’s not a thing in my mind and if someone actually does that they’re an idiot.
Now for Alan not caring about getting a message back he has done a 180 degree turn to wanting to be persistent in messaging in order to get more than a gif as a response. How does he think he is going to accomplish this? He does realize that Jaylynn can easily unmatch him right? Then what is he going to do? How is he going to find her since they are so perfect for each other? Now he’ll be left to wander this cruel cold world alone without the girl who he is delusional enough to think is perfect for him because she’s so in love with him all ready.
For Alan being so intuitive about these things he sure doesn’t have a clue. Can someone enlighten me as to how Jaylynn has clearly been chasing him this whole time? All of her gif responses and one actual word sent is not chasing. He’s the one with some false hopes and dreams that lead me to believe he is delusional. He’s no closer to anything other than giving us all something to laugh at because he just doesn’t get it. What exactly is his trap? What does he mean Jaylynn can be herself? What about her is standoffish? The fact that she isn’t immediately swooning because Alan is just an idiot when it comes to messaging someone? I really don’t get it.
What needs to heal? He doesn’t deserve another gif. What does her father have to do with anything? Alan is just giving me so many questions but I fear that his responses will just be an even deeper dive into what he thinks he knows and as we can tell that isn’t much. It would just be a waste of time. Another wrong spelling of your appears but you know, there’s no point in keeping track now. It’s best to leave him with silence so he can just talk to himself.
LOOK! Another switch. Jaylynn is no longer even hot because her shirt is too big. The audacity! No one is allowed to wear large shirts that are too big because we are above comfort! No one can be comfortable. Alan has spoken because he knows just what he’s looking for and what we are also looking for. Thank you for being so intuitive Alan. You really are a piece of work.
I have to commend Jaylynn for even responding to this douchebag because I honestly don’t know if I would have responded, knowing it was a waste of my time. In the end though we all got an enjoyable laugh, at least I hope so. Have you had a guy suddenly do a 180 degree change only to keep flip flopping back and forth? Do these guys think we don’t notice? Let me know what you think about Alan in the comments down below.
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