OkCupid - This is Trouble?

All the first messages seem to be getting better and better. Or perhaps it is worse. I am not quite sure. I mean, at this point nothing tops the Make Donald Drumpf Again conversation because I thought that was quite entertaining. However it seems the older men are at it again.

All right, grammar nazi mode activated. Who says "how the heck are ya." now a days? I mean, I say something along the lines of "how are you?" but the heck thrown in there just throws me off. Why is this man saying "ya" when I don't even say that to friends or family? He could have just said you and that would make the sentence a bit better. Does he not believe in capitalizing the first word of his sentences either? Or perhaps he is trying to seem hip and with it by going back to change it so it isn't automatically capitalized. That way he seems more chill and relaxed. I mean, any smartphone would have fixed that immediately. If he is on a computer then he really just didn't put any effort into his spelling, or this potential conversation.

I didn't know that you were going to report me to my parents for using this app sir seeing as how you apparently are going to try and get me in trouble by sending me these random messages. I'm kidding of course, my parents don't check my phone to see what I'm doing because I'm an adult and I do my own thing. However, I feel that he is trying to cause trouble by sending random messages when he could practically be my father. He may have had to have me when he was young but teen pregnancies do happen people. Anyways, I'll try to think of a good comeback to this guy and keep you all posted unless any of you have a good one. Comment with it below if you do.