Coffee Meets Bagel - Bum Fights

Well I was tweeting quite a bit this morning about Coffee Meets Bagel because I finally opened the app. If I'm being honest being on the dating apps during a pandemic is a little overwhelming. There's too many guys on it and most aren't even looking for anyone except maybe a fuck buddy to break the lockdown/quarantine guidelines. That or they chat for an hour or two and then ghost. So, the usual. Anyway I found a profile that was definitely worth the read and I thought I'd share it with you.

We’re going to call this guy Brent because I can. I am very confused by Brent’s use of capitalization. Being a film maker and a talent agent doesn’t need to be capitalized and claiming that as a job in Vegas just sounds fake. I’m sure he probably just uses the dating apps to find girls who want to try and make it big or something like that and then takes advantage of them. Sorry, but that’s just what his profile screams to me. 

You can’t be dope and do dope things and then say you’re kinda dope maybe and then ask if people even say dope anymore Brent. That doesn’t even make sense. Like, it’s not funny or appealing. You’re not saying anything you do that would be dope or catch my interest. Also, what are you messing? Are you messing with us? Or just messing with yourself because I think it’s a bit of both. (Or missing a lot of things)

Again, please be specific Brent. You like traveling so where have you been? Or name your favorite place. What do you do in the outdoors? My own mother would say she loves the outdoors but that just means being in a hotel like cabin… So again, gotta use your words and explain yourself. Why don’t you tell a funny joke Brent since you’re so hilarious and you make yourself cry. On top of that what exactly are you filming? Not that I would actually believe you because you’re being a little too secretive about it. 

Amazing. Brent thinks he is the only person who knows how to carry a conversation. I’m so proud of him. I feel so bad that he can’t seem to find a date who can be intelligent and carry on a conversation. It seems like we both deal with the same struggle. I’m confused though. Why do I need to spend my time helping Brent find abandoned buildings to arrange bum fights in? Why is that a thing? Is Brent trying to make the news to be like those day care workers who were hosting fight clubs with the toddlers? I can’t say this interests me Brent… 

What do you all think of Brent? Does helping to arrange bum fights interest you? Or do you think he really is a film maker and talent agent? Let me know in the comments down below.