Guess who is swiping on Coffee Meets Bagel again? It's me! Why? Well I figure I might as well be swiping on one of the dating apps that I can see some people who have liked me first instead of wasting all my time swiping on guys who are far shorter than me. Sorry to all the guys who are 5'2" and 5'3" but you're wasting both of our time and I don't appreciate it. I came across a profile that I thought would give you all a laugh as it did me, so let's get to it.
First off the last picture is that of Ash from Pokémon kissing some girl? Sorry, I have not been watching the latest episodes of Pokémon and stopped watching as a kid. I play Pokémon Go sometimes but that's about the extent of my Pokémon knowledge. Why did this guy use this for his profile? I'm going to call him Ash for the sake of this post now but still. Is he saying he wants to be the very best and catch all the Pokémon? Or is he secretly signaling that he already has a girl with this picture of Ash from the tv show and he's looking for more? I'm just confused.
I looked up Oaksterdam University and it is the self proclaimed first cannabis college. The courses range from $800 - $3,200 so I guess the certification is legit? Not sure how that sort of transcript works but ok. I know from there we can assume that Ash's small business has to do with the cannabis industry. I can't truly say if I love it or hate it considering the industry is really blowing up here in Vegas and plenty of people visit from out of town and try it out since it's legal. It just seems a bit suspicious to me.
Ash is terrified of puking? What does he expect me to say to this? That I hope he pukes when he hasn't in 13 years? Or that I am also afraid of puking? Like.... what even? Is this a new conversation starter and I'm the idiot who doesn't know how to respond? Then he says his love language is touch and that someone else's laugh never fails to make him laugh. What does Ash expect me to do? What am I supposed to make a comment on with this profile?
Sorry but I can't just talk about playing Pokémon Go with a guy who wants a relationship like Ash Ketchum, or probably has one and wants more (I just don't know at this point). This profile really does nothing and I don't know what Ash expects from anyone who happens to come across him on the dating apps. What sort of conversation am I supposed to have? What am I supposed to be drawn to? Ash is really doing himself a disservice in my opinion.
What do you all think of this profile? Do you see something that you can respond to and I'm just missing the obvious somehow? Or are you just as confused as I am? Do you know what that picture from Pokémon is supposed to mean? Let me know what you think in the comments down below. (:
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