I would apologize for the lack of posts but my work schedule has just gone completely insane and I honestly haven't been swiping much. I mean, most of the guys who I do match with want to meet up immediately and I'm not exactly comfortable with that at this point in the pandemic. It's probably gonna take a while but such is life. Anyway, Lisa shared this lovely profile on Twitter and I just had to share it with all of you because... well it's a rollercoaster to say the least. I mean, who needs to go on dates when you have the profile that has enough red flags to prevent you from getting close?
Barry here would love to grab a drink, which seems to be the most popular way to meet up after matching on the apps. It's not surprising or anything but the talk of football and car boot sales isn't exactly screaming "HEY THIS IS A PROBLEM!" but when you get to his actual bio that he got to write himself that's when I wish I was Jared, 19 and I never learned how to read.
Barry wants a submissive woman. Ok, cool. Good for you Barry, Good luck finding a girl who is going to stay absolutely quiet and only stays in the kitchen. How do you expect her to go about her life? Oh, that's right. You don't want her to have a life. You want her whole life to revolve solely around you. Is she going to expected to bathe in the kitchen Barry? Go to the bathroom there? Sleep on the floor? That is not that life I want anyone to have to live. I hope anyone who sees this profile just ignores it and immediately swipes left, effectively saving their time and sanity.
Now Barry says the only time she can say a word is when he has his huge dragon penis in her. Wait, Barry is a dragon now? How did that happen? I didn't think dragons would be very good builders... but also how did he get hired on? Surely he would do much better doing demolition as a dragon given his size, right? I'm joking of course but seriously Barry what the fuck is your problem? It sounds like he would do much better using a blow up doll or something else to be his girlfriend while having food delivered to the house since that seems to be all he cares about.
So, if Barry hears anything from the girl he will "brake there jaw" and this is just a whole muddled sentence that I'm having a hard time figuring out. Just where did these car brakes come from? Does he have brakes? He's going to put brakes on their jaw? What good will that do? I don't think there will be a makeup tutorial on how to cover those brakes up. Plus, if they get squeaky and need to have oil added that will definitely not be good for the skin!
Barry seems like a controlling, abusive, and lying piece of shit in my humble opinion. I can't imagine he gets many matches on Tinder unless a girl is just swiping through the pictures only and not reading the bio at all. This bio just makes me mad though because the audacity is too much for me.
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