Saturday, August 17, 2019

Bumble - Cilantro

Summer vacation is over so it's time to hop back on the dating apps. To be perfectly honest I uninstalled all of them to make room on my phone for all the photos I was planning to take. I did have 18,000+ photos and videos while on vacation that left my phone screaming at me for more storage space. The dating apps were all sacrificed for the cause. I regret nothing. Either way I've now reinstalled Bumble, updated my profile, and still discovered some weirdos. Some things never change.



In no time at all I had a notification from Bumble alerting me that more than 45 people want to meet me. Sadly, I know the truth. I have the free filter on that narrows prospectives down to their height, because yes that is what matters to me. Don't @ me because I'm not going to back down. That means plenty of guys may have swiped right but in all likelihood they didn't read my profile and see my height or the fact that I say they need to be tall. No matter though, as I said some things never change.


I have a few conversations that have started, which we may get to talk about later depending on how they go. We all know how great some people are at talking on dating apps so I'll keep you posted as usual.  Either way this profile caught my attention. A cunning linguist at Hogwarts most definitely sounds like a real and very important profession. Although I don't think attending a muggle school lends to that ability to teach at a magical school, do you? Maybe I just don't get all the continued hype for the Harry Potter world/universe ever since J.K. Rowling decided to tweet the most random things that aren't even necessary just to try and remain relevant.

I'm going to assume his first emoji is because he loves eating good food and the second is because he loves to enjoy some good music. Apparently he loves cats so much he uses the laugh cry emoji version of the cat. I don't know why but that always throws me off when people use the cat emoji that expresses emotion. I've only had one friend use them while texting me and she was definitely the cat lady so it made sense. A guy using them just seems strange, but perhaps that it just me.

The two truths and a lie is the easiest game thanks to this guy not even trying. Or perhaps he was trying to seem impressive but to me he failed miserably. For starters he isn't even old enough to have bene alive before the Die Hard movies came out. He only wishes he could be John McClane. Jake from Brooklyn 99 would love him, or maybe eve hate him for such a lie. He also was most certainly not alive to have had anything to do with the Gettysburg Address. Not liking cilantro seems to be foolish though. Does he not enjoy good food? I don't know what to do with this man.

Either way this profile just doesn't interest me. What do you all think of the wanna be John McClane? Is anything about this profile salvageable? Let me know what you think in the comments down below. (:



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