Coffee Meets Bagel - Escalator Fears

I can't tell you why but I've been swiping on Coffee Meets Bagel the most lately. It's probably because a lot more people put in their profile whether or not they're vaccinated and that's a bit more important to me as of late. Covid is getting a bit insane and I haven't had it yet (knock on wood) so I plan to still not get it if I can avoid that. Either way today I came across a profile that just... made me pause because I'm not sure if the guy is kidding or being completely serious.

I feel like Skylar has the right idea when it comes to what he's looking for in a partner. I mean, he has the first bit right I suppose. He wants a friend first, which is important in a relationship. The part about being kinky as a plus just makes me want to 🤮 because usually when a guy says that, they aren't truly looking for a relationship. They're more worried about a hookup. That's just my experience anyway.

Honesty is an important trait to have. I'd rather have someone tell me the truth than lie to my face any day. Being empathetic and nonjudgmental can be both a good and a bad thing, depending on what is going on. The part about being a shoulder to cry on in hard times made me laugh because I wonder how many ex-girlfriends Skylar has that weren't a shoulder to cry on. Or maybe he cried too much. I'm sure that's a possibility.

Now this is the part of Skylar's profile that makes me laugh. He's terrified of escalators. If he goes pale having to ride one and holds on with both hands I can't imagine traveling anywhere with him because there are plenty of escalators around that must be taken. I would probably laugh out loud the whole ride. I mean, what is there to be afraid of?

I can only think of this gif and it still makes me laugh! Does this make me a terrible person? Probably. 🤷‍♀️

Skyler has easy love languages (although love clearly isn't easy) and thinks of love as being unable to imagine life without them. Skylar is tall enough but I honestly don't know what to do with him. The bit about being kinky being a plus really is just off putting to me. And I sort of want to meet with him to make him ride an escalator to see if he's telling the truth. Is that terrible of me? Most likely, but come on I deserve to have a little fun, right? Let me know what you think in the comments down below. (: