Sunday, January 1, 2017

Tinder - Kettle Cooked Dicks?

I've said it before and I'll say it again, dick pics are not attractive. Never have been and never will be. Trust me. If anyone wants to see a dick they can find just the one they are looking for with a simple google image search. It's truly not that hard. I don't think I've ever met anyone who has said that they were immediately turned on by a guy who had a dick pic on his profile on any app. So let's just not have those at all to make everyone's lives a little more enjoyable. Today I have for all you readers a guy who apparently thinks he has a new approach to showing off his body, but isn't actually doing himself any favors.

This is it. Armando chose this photo as his main one to show off to anyone who is swiping on Tinder. This is what he wants people to see. In all honesty I was surprised he even had a bag of chips in the way to cover himself up a bit. If anything I am grateful he did so I wasn't scarred for life but why even have this photo in the first place? What was going through his mind to make him decide "Yes, I need a photo of me naked in my chair with a bag of kettle cooked chips in front of my dick so I'm not fully naked all while I act like I am actually eating a chip"? I just don't get it. 

What is this picture trying to convey? Does Armando want me to know he enjoys eating kettle cooked chips while naked and only wearing socks? Is he trying to say that he has a kettle cooked dick? Is there some other subliminal message that I am missing out on? If so I am positive that I don't want to know what it is either way. His picture is bold to say the least if he's willing to show off how he looks stripped down to socks and a bag of chips so kudos for being comfortable with your body Armando but please take it somewhere else.

When it comes down to his profile and description there isn't much to read into. The only bit I'm confused about is the lol. Is he trying to say he likes laughing out loud or does he think his above picture is funny so he's laughing at it? No matter. I'm certainly not interested and will gladly swipe left so I don't have to see this nonsense again.

Now I'm curious do you think there is something I'm missing in his photo or do you think I'm spot on? Do you have any random pictures like Armando obviously does that you like to use as a display picture? Let me know what you think in the comments below. (:


  1. Hahah this really made me chortle! I love reading your critiques of people's online dating profiles and photos! I don't think I'd be swiping right for him either!

    Abbey 😇

  2. I don't use Tinder but why would you use this picture of yourself to portray that you're worthy of a right swipe? What a sausage!

    Sian x

  3. This blog post literally made me choke on my coffee, I giggled so much. I don't use tinder personally, but I've heard about it from a lot of people, I don't think he is worth a date personally from his profile picture but I'm sure he is a lovely person once you get to know him. 🎀💜💫✨

    With love, Alisha Valerie. x |

  4. Hahah loved this post! I totally would have swiped left. I tend to do that with the ones round here who want to have a clever photo of them practically naked!! X

  5. This made me LOL as much as Armando's own picture made him! I must admit though, I'd of had to have messaged him to find out what was going through his poor mind - it would keep me up at night! Haha.


  6. This post literally had me giggling. Also, doesn't Tinder use your Facebook photos? If so, this is mega embarrassing for him haha

    Steph xx

    Steph’s World | Lifestyle Blog |

  7. Haha so funny the things people are willing to put on the internet! Don't think Armando is the guy for you personally...

  8. I REALLLY giggled at this post!!!

  9. This made me howl with laughter. Kettle cooked dick LOLOLOLOL Brilliant :')
    I love the reactions gadget by the way! What a fab idea :) xx

  10. THIS IS SPOT ON and I nearly fell off my chair laughing. Kettle cooked d---, for the win!