Saturday, May 19, 2018

Coffee Meets Bagel - Ain't That Shawty

It has been a while since a dating post thanks to life but boy do I have a bit of a doozy for you all today. I was on Coffee Meets Bagel because sometimes I can get a good conversation on there. The whole one possible match every 24 hours makes it a little difficult sometimes but then again if I have coffee beans to spend I can match with someone who has liked me all ready in my discovery tab. Anyways, want to meet someone who doesn't have a bright future? Here we go.

We're going to call this guy Weston for the sake of this post. He just needs a name before I break him down. So let's start with his occupation, because honestly how is his job Coffee Meets Bagel? Is Weston just going to spend his time swiping on the app and chatting with strangers in order to try and get a date with someone? I can't imagine how that would yield any profit. Now if he said he was a programer or developer for it that would make more sense but instead Weston doesn't go into much detail. He also says he got a Bachelors from Texas but that just leads me to even more questions. I don't know if any of you are familiar with how many universities there are in Texas but there are a ton. What is your Bachelors in Weston? What do you really do for a living? I need to know more!

How can Vegas employ you Weston? I get if you worked on the strip then yes, as a joke Vegas is your employer. I would understand that, or maybe if you even worked for the City of Las Vegas doing one of the many other jobs. However Weston claimed that his job was Coffee Meets Bagel. I doubt the company even has an office here in Vegas. That just wouldn't make sense. As far as I know most dating apps barely have one office location and it is either one the west coast or the east coast.

Now for the fun part. Weston straight up admits, "If you lookin for someone with a bright ass future, I ain't that nigga shawty. Fuck with me tho." I am so turned off by this. I mean, don't get me wrong. I don't expect every prospective date to be a millionaire or on their way to living the high life but honestly? Not having a bright future. That literally is screaming that you have no ambition or life goals Weston. Do you think that is attractive in the slightest? Apparently Weston does because he still wants girls to "fuck with [him] tho" as if that sounds like a great plan. Where is Weston getting his money from? Does he even have any money to take a woman on a date? Or does he just expect someone to realize from his profile that he has no money so they're going to be the one paying for everything?

Also, what exactly is "Vegas stuff" that would be what a person likes? Is it the shows on the strip? The club? Going to hotels? Swimming in pools? Nearly melting in the hot sun? I need you to be more specific. I'm starting to think that Weston used auto-complete for some aspects of his profile because it almost seems like what a bot could fill in. I'm kind of laughing a bit that he appreciates when his date winks and blows a kiss because it is the only think on his profile that makes some sort of sense.

What do you all think of Weston? Is anything about his dating profile appealing to you or are you just as concerned as I am?

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