Sunday, January 21, 2018

Tinder - Beneath Me

Today I have another profile to present to you that just serves to be a little too unrealistic. Maybe our guy Boomer is being realistic and I just don't know what is to be expected anymore. What can I say though, I seem to keep finding all the strangest profiles on Tinder lately so there's no escaping them. I would understand if Boomer was trying to be funny but that doesn't seem to be the case. An added "lol" to the end of his sentences might help but I don't think so. Let's get to it shall we?

If Tinder is so beneath you Boomer why are you even on it? What do you gain from being on it if it doesn't seem to be worth your time or attention? I get that I don't check it every hour or anything like that because I have a life that involves a lot of work, but if you aren't paying attention then you're ghosting people. There's no point in having an app on your phone that you don't even use. This makes me wonder if Boomer is one of those people who just swipes through Tinder when he is bored because he has nothing better to do. That could be the case because what if he just swipes right on everyone to stroke his own ego to see who liked him back? Guess that's all his precious attention deserves, a little bit of an inflated head.

I have to admit that I laughed when he said that the other person has to be at least ten feet tall. I'm not showing you his other pictures but there is no way he is even six foot tall himself. That's the funny part. I get wanting someone who is close to your height or taller because I have that own expectation but he's just being ridiculous. Guess no one is worth what little attention he pays to the app since I don't think I've ever met someone who was ten feet tall. Hell, I think I've only seen people on tv that were 8 feet tall at best. I suppose Boomer is going to have to find himself an alien.

I also laughed at the bit of having a nose on your face. Don't get me wrong, I know there are things like freak accidents that do happen to people but what if Boomer did find someone who was ten feet tall but didn't have a nose on their face? Would he suddenly be uninterested in him because they didn't meet his second requirement? I need to know more!

If I made ten million dollars a year I have to say now that I would not be on any sort of dating app. Why would I need to be? I have plenty of money so I'm sure guys would be throwing themselves in my way hoping I'd give them something. I'm kidding of course, because really with all that money I would be too busy traveling around the world to care about guys. For Boomer to have such a high expectation that makes me wonder if he makes eleven million dollars a year. Surely he can't be outdone and be with someone who makes more money than himself. Or maybe he can considering being ten feet tall is quite a big difference from his own height.

Is there a wrong way to use a bar of soap? I mean, last I checked there really wasn't unless you somehow messed up using soap and water but with the way Boomer is talking maybe he struggles with a bar of soap himself and hopes he can meet someone to help him. That is pretty sad that Boomer has been alive for 26 years and never learned how to use a bar of soap. I guess the struggle truly is real.

Loki being a role model isn't exactly ideal but I do love the character in the Thor series and the actor Tom Hiddleston isn't bad either. Too bad Boomer looks nothing like Tom Hiddleston nor does he seem to even have a personality that is remotely close to Loki, in the sense of being witty and smart. I guess Boomer will just have to keep idolizing him while never reaching that level. It doesn't seem that Boomer has the potential to reach what he expects to find in a girlfriend or significant other.

What do you all think of Boomer? Are his expectations realistic or do you think he's failing miserably at trying to be funny? Let me know what you think in the comments below. (:

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