Saturday, February 17, 2018

Practice Making Children

Today's post isn't from one of the dating apps because what was said to me was said to my face. Gasp! Flirting in real life? I guess that still happens sometimes. When was the last time that happened? Not for a good long while. It was at least an attempt at flirting in real life. We're going to go over why it didn't work and what was so terrible about it. Brace yourselves because it's pretty bad.

Picture this with me. I'm at the gym. No big deal. I have my headphones in with music playing because I'm not trying to interact with anyone at the gym. Honestly, I am there to run and get my workout in before heading home to make some dinner. I'm wearing a pair of baggy shorts that go to my knees and a men's t-shirt with a nonsense design on it because that's what I feel comfortable wearing when I'm working out. There's nothing about the way I'm presenting myself that says, "Hey! Come talk to me! I obviously am here to make friends."

I do my usual laps around the track and as I'm grabbing a drink of water from my water bottle this guy approaches me and says, "I want to practice making children with you." Normally I would have only seen his lips moving and wouldn't have heard a word thanks to my music. However, the guy caught me at just the right moment because the song was changing so there was nothing playing in my headphones. It would have been easy to ignore and act like I couldn't hear him but I couldn't play dumb to such a comment. I stared at him in disbelief for a moment though, trying to process what he said. I mean, did he actually just say that he wanted to practice making children with me?

"Are you kidding me?" I finally manage to answer. He just looks back at me with a smile on his face and replies, "I'm giving you a compliment right now." That's right everyone, this guy thought he was giving me a compliment. He was actually pleased with himself for saying it to my face. As far as I am concerned that is not any sort of compliment because honestly who says that? "That is far from a compliment. You're being a creep and need to get the hell away from me." I state because at this point I don't know if he's going to be the weirdo who tries to follow me out to my car in the parking lot or anything like that. Sadly you just never know anymore, especially with the way the world is going.

"How is that not a compliment?" he asks, honestly confused by my response. I guess he was expecting me to jump up and down with glee at the idea of him practicing making children with me. Now let me describe what he looks like, because I realize I've forgotten to say that. He's only about 5'7" so shorter than me, he's a bit rounder, and he isn't attractive in the slightest. He has that sleazeball sort of face if that's a descriptive enough word for you all to get the idea. I would not have accepted his "compliment" even if he was taller than me and attractive so keep that in mind.

"For starters I don't even know you so who is to say I would want to practice having children with you? Plus you saying you want to have sex with me isn't a compliment in the slightest. You're coming across as a pig right now and I can only imagine how many other women you've tried that so called compliment on. Needless to say I imagine it doesn't work well for you so you need to come up with a compliment that actually is meaningful but that would require you to get to know a person. So kindly leave me alone and actually get to know someone before giving them an actual compliment." I said. Now, I can't say that those were the words I said verbatim but that was the gist of is. I even glared at him for added effect.

As expected he had no response to that. He just gave me a dumbfounded look as if he'd been struck by lightning. He shook his head and then slinked away, likely to try his compliment on some other poor unsuspecting girl. I still just couldn't believe that a guy thought that it was a compliment. I have to know if anyone else has had such a thing said to them? Or what was something you were told that was totally off base but the guy tried to play it off as a compliment. Let me know what you think in the comments below. (:

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