Tuesday, March 28, 2017

OkCupid - RudeDude Finale?

Has it really been a month since I last updated all of you in regards to RudeDude? I mean, the last post was all about that coffee meet up and seeing a movie but I honestly can't believe it's been a month. I do apologize for keeping most of all of you in the dark but it wasn't intentional I promise! Things have just been busy to say the least but it's time to enlighten you with what's happening. So let's get to it, shall we?

As I mentioned in my previous post RudeDude opened up quite a bit by sharing a lot of things I don't think I was ready to hear. The whole bit about prescription drugs was a bit much to try and take in. Even though he had me laughing at his stories in the beginning that didn't overshadow everything else I learned. There was also that bit about a bad breakup and being really hurt, which made me wonder if he was truly ready for a relationship just yet or if he was just testing the waters to see what he could handle.

I'm not going to make this a super long or drawn out post because there's no point in doing that. So in short there will be no more posts regarding RudeDude. It's pretty much over. You can't say I didn't try though. You also can't say that he didn't try either. My one friend made the comment, "You took him hiking with you and he came back asking for another date? That poor boy." It's amusing to think about it that way because I am pretty intense when it comes to hiking so for him to hang with me while doing something I enjoy and to then want more in saying something. I have plenty of friends who won't hike with me because they know they can't or won't keep up.

I'm going to break it down into a list of what I can say went wrong or caused the relationship to fizzle. These are just my thoughts though since it's not like I'm asking him for any sort of input. If I'm being honest it's been at least two weeks since we've last texted so I'm not going to say, "Hey I want to ask why we haven't continued our relationship so I can post it on my blog" because I'd probably receive no answer or maybe just a confused response because who does that? Plus it's not like he knows about this blog so let's keep it that way.

Here's what I feel caused things to go downhill:

  • Lack of Communication - I'm not the best with texting due to my busy and hectic schedule but the only time we ever talked was through text. It was always about meeting up or getting together. There were no random texts with fun or pointless conversations. If I'm being honest it made it easy to sort of forget about RudeDude up until I saw him thanks to a reminder on my phone that we had plans.
  • Oversharing - This could probably go along with communication but there is such a thing as telling way more than you should. I know you want to get to know a person but there has to be a time and place to tell about some things. Talking about prescription drugs honestly worried me a bit because although he said he didn't actively seek them out it didn't make me feel any better because how would I know any different?
  • Lack of Common Interests - I know that I'm not going to have everything in common with the person I'm dating but it seemed that the things we did have in common weren't necessarily things that could be built upon. The same went for what we were interested in that weren't similar. It wasn't as if he seemed willing to try something new and out of his comfort zone so I wasn't going to suggest it.
  • The Unknown - Neither of us knew where the relationship was heading since it wasn't something we discussed. We were dating, obviously, but was there going to be something more or was it just going to end as friends? I guess neither of us will ever know since we haven't talked for a couple weeks and it doesn't seem like any sort of conversation is going to start up again any time soon. It's good to discuss what is wanted in a relationship so I will admit I also dropped the ball on this one.

These may seem like little things but they are pretty important to me. I don't care if I just get a random text saying, "Bob at work didn't like my tie so you need to be mad at him." That's enough for me to respond to or joke about so that there is a constant stream of communication. For the oversharing I also heard from others that prescription drugs became a problem in their own relationships, which honestly freaked me out even more because that isn't something I want to try to deal with. Lastly not wanting to try new things is understandable, but there has to be some give and take in a relationship, right? Let's just experience new things together and get a great memorable story from it rather than hide away.

I hope it doesn't sound like I just gave up too easily or something along those lines, but you're the ones reading my thoughts in posts on this matter. Maybe I'm wrong in thinking a random text every now and then is nice. Maybe oversharing is a good thing and I'm just being dramatic. Either way let me know what you think in the comments below. (:

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