Tuesday, April 19, 2016

OkCupid - You Hurt Me

We've established at this point that apparently sending the first message is hard. This is something that most all the guys on OkCupid seem to struggle with. When I get something that literally hurts my head to read I'm not quite sure what I did to deserve this pain. I mean, I think I'm a good person so this needs to stop. Please don't let this happen again.

Honestly what does this message mean? It is hard enough to decipher through the terrible spelling and grammar because having to reread it caused me so much pain that I didn't even want to finish reading what it was saying in the first place. I'm going to break it down as best I can before my brain just shuts down in order to force me to give up on it though.

Spelling and grammar aside (I mean seriously a 0 in look?) I understand that he finds me attractive due to his experiences and adventures. This is a good thing considering he isn't just saying that I'm hot, rather that what he's read and sees in pictures are something he can relate to. When it comes to his mind's eye though I'm not sure about our common interests considering when I looked at his profile there was just about little to nothing in common. I mean, there wasn't much on his profile and as you can tell he doesn't even have a photo of any sort to show me what he is interested in or enjoys doing. I never thought that my beautiful smile and my great body would be an electrifying bonus to someone's mind's eyes. I wonder if it hurts to have his mind's eye electrocuted just by looking at me. This is something I should ask him.

I am 99.9% sure that he does not have "spidey senses" of any sort and the fact that he refers to his instincts as that tells me that he is a Spiderman fan and must be extremely excited for the upcoming Captain America Civil War movie considering Spiderman makes an appearance. Congrats dude, how many times do we have to see Uncle Ben die before we get the point of how much pain and suffering Peter Parker has in his life? Are you saying that you have an Uncle Ben who has also died? Or perhaps you've been bitten by a radioactive spider and have gained super powers? Even with powers I wouldn't be interested though because they obviously aren't helping you gain any intellect. 

He is right in saying that I'm a powerful ingredient because there isn't much that I can't do but I have no desire to do much of anything with him. I mean what is he trying to get at by saying we'd be spicy, durable, and a lasting pleasure? Is he all ready trying to jump ahead by saying all the amazing things we could do in bed because that is not what I am here for. Even if that isn't the case by some rare chance those three words don't make much sense in my mind any other way so I'm just going to leave it at that. I've had enough trouble reading through this message again just to share it with all of you.

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