Clover - Don't Lie To Me

Writing a description about yourself on a dating app where you have free reign to write whatever you like can be tough. You don't want to say too much that someone just blows you off because of it or say too little because it makes it seem like you just want someone to know you for your looks. However if you're going to throw out numbers and percentages let me just say that is a turn off. Especially when it isn't at all accurate.

To begin with Sam is a bit too old for me and again is not somehow enticing me to become a gold digger but such is life. Maybe one day my gold digger loving older boyfriend will come along but today is not that day. Now as I said before listing off percentages doesn't make too much sense to describe yourself because we're all more than numbers and this isn't a math class. Starting off by saying that you are 20% of your grandfather doesn't make much sense considering I don't know who your grandfather is and if we're going to get into the genetics side of it I'm fairly certain that isn't correct considering your own DNA is made up of so many more of your ancestors so that percentage is probably smaller. 

If Jon Stewart and Trevor Noah had a love child I am guessing it wouldn't look one bit like you considering I've seen the two of them. Now if you're talking personality wise that still doesn't make too much sense considering they are on television so they have a persona that they take on. Are you telling me that you also have a persona that you take upon yourself when you think that you're on tv? Also I love Parks and Recreation and there is no way you are like Ron Swanson in looks and if you are trying to say personality wise that goes against the other aforementioned people in your list of percentages. Atticus Finch was a lawyer in To Kill a Mockingbird and I don't quite get your comparison to him. As for being Leonidas you are no Gerard Butler nor are you the commanding officer of 300 Spartan warriors so that is all false. You can't be part Batman either because you have no money, no cape, or personality like him with the others you claim to be. Lastly for Ron Burgundy I don't know if you're just trying to say you're funny or if there really are now three different sides to you with two differing tv personas.

In the end Sam ending up liking me and I found him to be too old, unattractive to me, and his list of percentages was a complete and total turn off. You could say I was looking into the numbers too much but he listed the information so I'm supposed to try and figure out a little about him from that.