Coffee Meets Bagel - 2 Inch Pipe

I'm not exactly swiping on the apps because it's the holidays. Plenty of people are traveling so I'm not going to bother wasting my time on someone who I'll likely never meet or even see even after a FaceTime date. I hope you all had a Merry Christmas or Happy Holiday season in general but it seems so fake and weird during everything that's happening. Anyway, I do have a profile from someone who liked me on an app! Surprising, but not so much considering of course the guy is shorter than me. Anyway, today I have an interesting profile to share with you so let's get to it!

Splice Clothing Review (Updated 1/10/21!)

Well, it's the end of the year and I figure why not do a blog post that isn't related to dating, because I'm on vacation for one and two I'm a little swiped out. Shocking, I know. Maybe I'll get on later to see what ridiculous profiles other states have to offer but stay tuned for that later. Anyway, I thought I'd share my thoughts on some awesome new clothes I bought from Splice Clothing! The fun thing is, is that they're reversible! Talk about helping to pack light when traveling, although it is a bit limited with COVID at the moment but still, why not have some comfy new clothes? Anyway, on to the review.

Tinder - Owl Bot?

Let's have a look at yet another fun match. It's all ready unnerving enough to wait and see if someone matches with you on a dating app. I mean, it's a huge waiting game considering the other person could have hundreds of other possibilities to swipe through before they land on your profile. Or depending on their settings they may never get to you because someone new always pops up. Either way, I want to show you this fun conversation that began because someone was almost too pretty to believe.

Tinder - Christmas Ham

I honestly don't feel like the bios on dating apps are getting any better, nor are the pictures. If anything they are further proving that some guys really do just want to stay alone. That or they're just trying to attract who are just as weird as they are. I feel like their level of weird is a bit much, even if they were trying to be weird or sarcastic. You'll see from the following profile that things are truly going downhill and perhaps it's just time to delete everything.

Tinder - DoorDick

I know that we're going through trying times right now. Aren't you sick of that phrase? I know I am but at the same time I'm not quite sure how else to describe what's going on. Saying 2020 or quarantine or even pandemic just doesn't cover it all. It's all truly a mess. Either way today we have a fun profile on Tinder that proves there is a guy out there who understands what women want with what is going on right now. I mean, I suppose it depends on where he is because I know various places around the world are doing different versions of a lockdown but still, it seems like a great service.

Bumble - Glorification Flakes

I suppose it's that time of year where some people want to have a relationship in time for the holidays. I don't truly understand that thought process because I imagine meeting the parents is a big enough ordeal to go through especially if you've only just started dating. Talk about that fun bit of awkwardness. It would seem that the dating apps have taken a bit of a turn though if people are having a hard time finding someone who isn't a flake. Today's post is thanks to @fatgalguidedate showing us that some guys really know how to make you want to swipe right.

Bumble - Cocktail

I suppose we all really thought that dating couldn't get any harder during COVID19. There's people who do wear a mask and people who don't. Those who social distance and those who don't. It's a double edged sword with everything, especially if you add in politics. Today's profile is thanks to @girl_tinder sharing Jack and how desperate he has become during these trying times. 

Tinder - Kidnap Me

I feel like at this point with the dating apps nothing is truly surprising. I mean, we've seen all kinds of pictures, profiles, and even first messages. Not all of them are great, that much we all know but I suppose there's a lot of garbage to sort though to find someone worth while. And yet, somehow there's still something new to be found even today. I suppose that means that men will continue to try and find new ways to get attention. Thanks to @fatgalguidedate we have this lovely message to show us how brilliant some people are.

Tinder - MAGA Tattoo

I know that nothing is for certain when it comes to the presidential election here in the U.S. I've noticed plenty of people are following along with the news and media to find out who has what votes but I'm at the point that I know it's all a waiting game. So let's look at a profile on a dating app that looks even more like a regrettable decision. Thanks @SarahCantSmell for this gem.

Coffee Meets Bagel - Card Show

We all know that the pictures someone posts on their dating app profile can make or break them considering it is the basis for whether or not someone swipes left or right. Today we have a guy who put up a picture that confuses me just a bit. I mean, it's not a fishing picture, hunting picture, or even a group photo. So I'm not entirely sure what he may be no so secretly trying to tell me. Hopefully the internet can help explain what it means to me.

Coffee Meets Bagel - No One Else

Dating during COVID19 is certainly a pain to say the least, but at the same time I can't truly complain. Knowing whether or not someone believes in COVID19 or even wears a mask makes it easier to not waste my time talking to a guy. That's just how it is. So, when Rick showed up for me being tall, cute, and with outdoorsy adventure pictures I was certainly intrigued. Then we started messaging and I discovered that he was a firm believer that NO ONE ELSE was going to do for me what he was. 

Coffee Meets Bagel - Hike Date

Johnny and I had a great time video chatting. He mentioned wanting to meet up and go on a hike so I agreed. I decided to let him pick the hike, since he claimed to have experience with rock climbing and things of that nature. I mean, the last time I picked a hike the guy practically suffered the entire time because he had claimed to be more experienced than he actually was. It wasn't even that hard of a hike but you know, some guys like to build themselves up to be bigger than they are. So let's get to it!

Coffee Meets Bagel - First Video Chat

As those of you who follow me on Twitter know I matched with someone on Coffee Meets Bagel, which is surprising to me as well because I had just been lamenting about how I was ready to give up on the dating apps for the time being. Either way I matched with a guy and he immediately started messaging me, which was surprising. As you're well aware most guys struggle to hold any sort of conversation that is decent. I suppose I should explain.

Bumble - Boring Sex

Today's post is thanks to @girl_tinder swiping on Bumble. We've seen plenty of guys who really just seem to throw themselves under the bus very early in the conversation after matching. Some guys really just know how to sell themselves short. I mean, it's not too surprising considering the expectations can be quite low while swiping but the whole thing gave me a good laugh. 

Bumble - COVID Disappear

Today's post comes to us thanks to @SarahCantSmell swiping on Bumble. It's messages like this that remind me why I really hate going on the dating apps right now. It's not just because of COVID but politics because it really is quite telling in these trying times. I mean, it's better to get things known from the start in order to not waste any more time than needed.

Bumble - "Ethnical" Relationship

Today's profile comes from @TheTinderZone because honestly, I had to reread the profile a few times just to make sure I was even understanding it right. Even now though, I don't think I'm understanding very much of it. I'm going to leave it up for you all to help me decide what exactly it means. Your assistance will be much appreciated. (:

Argentine Loverboy

I feel like it has been quite a while since my trip to Argentina, although in reality it has only been a little more than a year. As I'm sure you all know time moves very different during COVID19 so it just feels weird all around. Well, today's post is all about BLAH and for those of you who don't remember why don't you click here and refresh your memory about the whole situation where while visiting Buenos Aires I had three guys suddenly lose their minds. Fun times, you know? Well anyway, let's get to where we're at now.

Tinder - Poor Pockets

Today we have a profile from @SarahCantSmell as she's been swiping on the apps. Some guys really just don't have a clue do they? I mean, I can't see anything redeeming about this profile but maybe you should give it a read first. I might just be jumping to conclusions but based on what I've read this guy isn't worth any more time than I've spent having to read this profile. Surely this might speak to someone, but that someone certainly isn't me!

Tinder - Ya F*ckn Whale

Today's post is thanks to Katie (@katie_obrienx) sharing her messages with her match Steven. I suppose we shouldn't expect too much from a Tinder conversation, given most of those don't go all that well. Usually starting off with one of those ice breaker lines can be good, or entertaining, or even funny even if it doesn't last that long. But I guess Steven just really wanted to shoot himself in the foot today.

OkCupid - Trust Me

Well Becky aka @tothaground had this lovely conversation happen while on swiping on the dating app. It's kind of ridiculous how some people just tend to lead off on the wrong foot. I mean, there's a difference between doing it on accident and doing it completely on purpose, which is what the following guy has done. You can't tell me otherwise because I just won't believe you. 

Coffee Meets Bagel - Extended

Well it's been a while since I've swiped on Coffee Meets Bagel but to be honest Bumble and Tinder are a little overwhelming right now in the sense that there are so many guys to swipe on but it just seem so redundant and nothing is happening. I figured I might as well try something else just to give myself a break, especially since Coffee Meets Bagel doesn't give me more than a handful of guys every 24 hours. Lately I've had quite a few matches and I've started a few of the conversations, since the app rewards you for messaging first and some of these guys apparently still don't know how to have a conversation. Today we have Zack, who seems to like things extended...

Tinder - Naked Soul

Well today's profile is thanks to SarahCantSmell swiping on Tinder. I don't want to say too much, because really you should just read it and then think about it. Isn't that a bit surprising? Usually I'm all ready giving you some sort of hint by now about what the guy has said or done wrong but I guess this pandemic might be changing things!

Bumble - Fun Fact

It would seem @SarahCantSmell just seems to be finding the guys who are just, deep inhale, so great. I mean, you can't make this shit up, but alas it is real! Sarah matched with a guy who just proves that too many people can't hold a conversation, no matter how easy you make it for them! I mean, it really shouldn't be this hard. We're all stuck ins some sort of lockdown quarantine so our communication skills over electronic devices should be easier! But alas, Avi proves not everyone has picked up a skill during this global pandemic.

Bumble - 70/30 Balance

Sometimes, people have super high expectations for no reason. We have more PEAK men thanks to @SarahCantSmell swiping on Bumble. I mean, last time we had the average dude looking for the above average girl but today this guy just expects more than that. How is it even possible? Well, he's a guy so I must infer that he doesn't have much of a brain and thinks his expectations are completely reasonable. Listen, I know not all guys are like this, but they sure are showing themselves at this time.

Tinder - Verified Selfie

Don't know what it is about photos but sometimes they can seem a bit sketch. Don't get me wrong, usually you can tell when someone isn't using their own photos. That or they just have weird pictures that have no people in them. Today @TheTinderZone has a guy asking for an "identity verifying selfie". That has to be a new one that I've never heard before.

Bumble - Average

I feel like even with a global pandemic most men have still found a way to make the dating apps ridiculous by not properly filling out their bios. Thanks @SarahCantSmell for this one because it just proves some guys just aren't even trying. That and expecting too much. Anyway, let's get to it shall we?

Tinder - Dumb B!

Well, I have to thank @TheTinderZone for sharing this on Twitter because sometimes guys have such ridiculous profiles that you wonder how they've possibly made it this far in life. I mean, you'll see that Mike has gone 31 years and in that much time he still hasn't figured out how to be decent. At least not in my humble opinion. I suppose we should get to the profile so you can see what I mean.

Tinder - 6,000 Years

Today's post is a funny one I thought I'd share with you all, if only because the apps have been rather dull and dry for me lately. After the last guy who held a conversation for a little bit but then went quiet I just keep getting matches who don't talk. I suppose this is my life now, even in quarantine. Granted, I know there are plenty of things going on in everyone's life but a quick message isn't too hard to send, is it? Or just don't bother swiping. Anyway, let's get to the fun stuff.

Tinder - Peeing

You would think by now that people know how important photos are on a dating app. They're what people base their first impression on. I mean, one's photos are the first thing to show up when you see someone new to swipe left or right on. Today I have to thank @TheTinderZone for sharing this picture because really, I just couldn't stop laughing at it. Let me show you why.

Coffee Meets Bagel - No Hike?

We all know there are those guys who can't hold a conversation, or perhaps just don't know how to say something that isn't weird or just rude. Today we have an example of the opposite! I mean, we had a fairly good conversation going in my opinion. Granted, the messages were a bit spaced out because I was busy dealing with work and life, but it was going. Anyway, let me show you what I'm talking about.

Tinder - Warrior Bride

I'm behind on posting here because I just needed a break. Not necessarily from the blog, but just from life in general. Yes, I know everyone is having their own issues with Covid-19 but I'm not going to get into that. Either way, I went away for a week in the mountains and stayed at a friend's cabin. No one else was there so I was still self-isolating and I didn't encounter many people. It was just nice to get away. Anyway, back to what you came here for. We have a guy who really knows how to treat a woman, at least according to his profile he knows how.

Bumble - PB Fight

Now today's profile is more just a funny one for the bio, or at least it is to me. Usually you use your bio to share things about yourself and you try to be a little more specific in order to be different from all the other profiles people swipe on. Instead this profile caught my attention because of the reason David wants to fight. I mean, it definitely caught my attention.

Bumble - Companionship

As you all know I myself use plenty of different dating apps. At the moment I'm not exactly swiping on all of them, or even bothering to check on all of them, but on each one I tend to use the same pictures and I keep my bio about the same. Granted, some of the apps ask different questions in order to help others get to know you better. Today we have a guy claiming to straight up copy his profile from Plenty of Fish but I don't think he understands that a limit exists and his bio isn't that great.

Coffee Meets Bagel - Deleted

We all are well aware of what ghosting is at this point on an app. They message and then disappear for no reason. It obviously gets old after a while but it does happen. I tend not to think about it that much, considering it's not worth my time or effort. If a guy decides not to message then in my mind it's just his loss. Anyway, today we have a profile that confused me a bit with the info the guy filled in on his bio. Let's get to it, shall we?

OkCupid - Luckiest Cowboy

As some of you know from following me Twitter or just from my posts on here I do enjoy traveling and I get to travel quite a bit. I've mentioned before that I always like when someone on the dating apps asks me about traveling because it's a good conversation starter! There is so much to discuss when it comes to going new places and seeing new things because it's an actual conversation. Some places are well known and others not as well known so it's fun to learn new things. Today though I had a guy message me about my luck, which I didn't take too well.

Coffee Meets Bagel - Bum Fights

Well I was tweeting quite a bit this morning about Coffee Meets Bagel because I finally opened the app. If I'm being honest being on the dating apps during a pandemic is a little overwhelming. There's too many guys on it and most aren't even looking for anyone except maybe a fuck buddy to break the lockdown/quarantine guidelines. That or they chat for an hour or two and then ghost. So, the usual. Anyway I found a profile that was definitely worth the read and I thought I'd share it with you.

Ok Cupid - Quote Book

Well it's been a while since we've seen anything from Ok Cupid. I suppose that's probably a good thing in the sense that maybe the people aren't there aren't as terrible or pathetic. Then again I just don't know what to think of half of the dating bios at this point. It seems plenty of people want to talk but not for very long. Either way, let's get on to today's profile!

Bumble - Quarantine Together

Well I know I did a post previously all about the different dating app bios guys are putting up that deal with Coronavirus but today we have someone who actually filled out more of their profile so it is a bit surprising. I mean, those offers to just get toilet paper were nice but I don't know that it is worth the risk. Granted, most of the conversations quickly pitter out even while in this lockdown/quarantine. On to the profile!

Tinder - House Husband

Listen, I am aware that there a manga about a House Husband and the little bits that I've seen from it are hilarious. If you haven't heard of it I'm sure you could find some of the highlights with a quick Google search. However, I did not expect for @TheTinderZone to actually find a profile on Tinder of a guy claiming to be a house husband. I mean, it's not exactly the norm. Or maybe it is now? What do I know?

Tinder - Bird Water?

Well @TheTinderZone was swiping on Tinder and found this rare gem! I mean, a picture tells a thousand words right? I need to know what your thoughts are as to what the following picture means. Clearly I can't be the only one missing the memo? Can I? Granted, maybe it is one of those viral trends that I somehow missed.

10 Reasons It's Great To Be Single During Quarantine

Well, it’s time to talk about the positives of being single during this time of lockdown or quarantine, depending on what your state or country has decided to call it. I know my state is “shut down” with the Strip closed down and only “essential” businesses running. Of course plenty of people are still trying to gather together by getting outside but they’re part of the group of idiots who are the reason all of this is lasting even longer. Anyway, on to my list of reasons it’s great to be single at this time!

Tinder - Pop Goes The Weasel

Today's post isn't going to be very long because it is just a funny profile to enjoy. I hope you get a laugh like I did. It's not like there is too much to analyze considering I'm not just going to fluff up paragraphs for you to read the same thing five different ways. Happy Easter Sunday for everyone who celebrates, and for those of you who don't now you at least know the day today is Sunday.

COVID19 Dating App Bios

Today's post is brought to you all by all the boys who are stuck in quarantine and upping their bio descriptions to match how they currently feel! Now, I have used some that both @TheTinderZone (the first 2 Tinder bios) and @SarahCantSmell (All the yellow Bumble bios) have shared on Twitter so be sure to follow them as well for some of this nonsense. Others are from the idiot guys here in Vegas but as you'll soon see, some things never change.

Tinder - Boyeeee

Today's post is thanks to Michelle (@blancmodenuit) because as we all know even on our lockdown and quarantine these boys just don't quit. If you aren't on lockdown then please send me a message about where you are so I can finally be free. I'm on nearly three weeks of this and losing my mind! Anyway, let's get to our boy Matty and read his nonsense of a profile!

Tinder - Sapio Sexual

I know with Coronavirus going on right now all the dating apps are encouraging dating from homes and things like that. Maybe if I actually find myself opening one of the apps I'll screenshot the funny profiles with a message about Coronavirus and we can rank the best ones. For now though I just want to show you a funny conversation that shows how unready someone was for the response. I mean, shots fired.

OkCupid - Number Love

Well OkCupid changed things up so it is no longer all about usernames but it seems that guys still haven't learned what sort of message they should send as an introduction. Will they ever learn? Maybe this shut down/lock down will help them gain a few braincells. At least this guy knew to start with a compliment I suppose, but then it just sort of fell apart after that.

Tinder - Snail Racing

Well, Vegas hasn't gone on full quarantine but people are definitely going crazy and buying all the water, toilet paper, and frozen food they can get at Walmart. To be honest things have been a little hectic at work so I haven't had the chance to really swipe much on the apps. Then again I wonder if anyone really is going all out to swipe and match since we all need to practice social distancing. Who knows though. Anyway, I found a funny conversation and thought I'd share it with you all.

Bumble - Ex Hoe

You know how sometimes you actually manage to match with someone on a dating app and then have a conversation? I know, it is very rare like a unicorn, but sometimes the conversation just takes a weird turn. Like one minute you're talking about video games and then they throw a curveball about their ex. You know, the usual weirdness because some people just don't have a clue. That's what we have today thanks to BriAnne.

The League - Love 400

I think The League is trying to get rid of me at this point. I'm not a paying costumer because I was on the wait list when it launched in Las Vegas. I managed to be high enough on the list to get my free membership. At this point I feel like they keep cycling me through the same handful of guys as if I won't notice or maybe because they hope that will for some reason make me want to pay and join. Either way I came across a profile that didn't exactly scream impressive but it did make me wonder if it was a subtle hint that the guy was amazing.

Movie Time - What I Watched

Something different isn't a bad thing right? I've been watching a lot of movies lately and some were nominated for awards and such but others are just recent. So I thought I'd share some that I'd seen and let you know my thoughts on them. I don't expect anyone to agree but hey, if my suggestion gets you to watch a movie and you enjoy it that's great! (:

Coffee Meets Bagel - No Salad

It's back to swiping for me as per usual. I went back to Coffee Meets Bagel to see what sort of matches I would get. Sometimes I forget about a dating app considering there are so many and it's easier to just focus on one at a time. Either way I stumbled across a fairly interesting profile which made me wonder what kind of dates the guy had gone on. I mean, I don't think it should be too difficult to say what you appreciate your date doing but here we are.

Hinge - No Strings Attached

It's been a while since I've said anything about using the Hinge dating app. I mean I only have one post about it so far so it's not all bad I suppose. I certainly get enough ads for it on social media saying it is the dating app made to be deleted. To be honest most of the guys who do send a like or a message just aren't very worthwhile in my humble opinion. So when I got a message from a guy who I invited to chat I was a little excited, until I wasn't.

Bumble - Please Disregard

Well, I've started swiping again. Not too intensely though. I just swipe for a few minutes, start some conversations, and then wait to see what happens. Bumble keeps telling me there's so many possible matches but I think that's just because they want me to pay for the app so I can see who has liked me. I would easily bet $20 to say most of the guys are too short for me so I'm not going to pay. However I did get a guy who immediately said we wouldn't work after I sent him a message, which is a bit strange because he liked me first.

Tinder - Black Cock?

This is a post I had in my drafts for ages so I wanted to preface this by saying sorry I haven't been online much. For those of you who follow me on Twitter you know my step-mom passed away suddenly so I've been busy dealing with that. This is a short blog post and hopefully I can get back to "normal" blogging in a bit.

Tinder - Cool Girl

Time for another fun profile because matches are happening but conversations are not! Have I become too intimidating to even message? If that is the case then I wish other people would stop trying to talk to me like the lover boy from Argentina. Anytime he sees that I've gone online he sends me a message! Anyway, let's get to it shall we?

Coffee Meets Bagel - Dark Sucker

It's been pretty dry on the dating apps as of late, in the sense that people are swiping but nothing is actually happening. Maybe that's why todays' post comes as a surprise. I had an actual conversation! On a dating app! Can you believe it? I'm honestly quite surprised. It came from Coffee Meets Bagel no less! I suppose I should have expected that considering Tinder and Bumble are quite dead for me at the moment. No matter though. Let's talk about the fun stuff!

2019 Year in Review

It's time for a year in review! It's wild to think that this blog is still alive. It's not going to be anything fancy but I figured I'd just give a fun update like I did last year. I was gone traveling for three months this year overseas and then spent more time doing trips that were stateside. Needless to say I know I had some down time but you know there were interesting profiles and conversations as always along with a few travel posts!

Tinder - Mood

We're in a new year. I guess that means yet another year of being single and still attempting to find love on the dating apps. As you can see from how long this blog has been going I haven't been successful just yet. Such is life is I suppose. Either way I'm back to swiping and sadly I still keep getting possible matches that are deadbeats as far as I'm concerned. No conversations are taking place so today I'm going to share with you a funny profile.